《God and Mr Slatterman》作者： - Mike Resnick 【EPUB】

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God and Mr. Slatterman by Mike Resnick So God He decides to give it His best shot and He says Thou hast made mockery of My namefor the last time And Mr. Slatterman he pretends he doesnt even notice that the craps table is missing and allthe people have vanished and he looks God full in the eye and he says I didnt take yourname in vain especially if youre who I think you are and besides if you will just take thetrouble to check the record you will find that my precise words were Baby needs a new pair ofshoes And God glares at him and says very stentoriously How darest thou speak to Me in such atone of voice And Mr. Slatterman whose eyes are all squinched up because of how bright the Almighty is hecomes right back bold as you please and says Well just you be careful about who you goaround of accusing of things they didnt rightly do and whats more I dont think I believein you. What you believe is of no import said God Who has a feeling that He is not getting Hispoint across. You have repeatedly broken My Sabbath and disobeyed My laws that I gave unto Moses. Thou arean abomination unto My sight Now just hold it right there snaps Mr. Slatterman. Bartenders got a right to live too youknow and if you werent so all-fired anxious to make everyone suffer the tortures of thedamned or at least as close an approximation as the Internal Revenue Service can whip up onshort notice then maybe I wouldnt be so damned busy on your day off and could even get in alittle golf. Now this really rankles God and suddenly Hes not just _pretending_ to be mad anymore and Hebellows Thou art -- I dont want to put you off or anything interrupts Mr. Slatterman who is feeling just alittle bit disoriented but could you kind of go a little easy on the Thee and Thou bitGod He stared at Mr. Slatterman and utters a tired little sigh and after He gets Hiscomposure back He starts again. Bernard Slatterman He says in His best Sunday go-to-meetingvoice you